Ah, Florence. The city where Renaissance marble meets the marble countertops of a TikTok influencer’s kitchen. It’s here, in the 15th-century Palazzo Settimanni—a place that has seen more powdered cheeks than a backstage drag show—that Gucci chose to unveil its Cruise 2026 collection. Why? Because it can. And as we all know, true luxury means doing things simply because no one can stop you.
While we all anxiously await Demna’s grand arrival (perhaps via drone, cloaked in irony), the collection was helmed by the collective spirit of the Gucci design team—a group of creatives who likely share more Slack channels than actual opinions.
The result? A lineup that felt like the illegitimate lovechild of a Medici courtier and a time-traveling cyberpunk. A bit of baroque, a touch of latex, and plenty of “statement pieces” that boldly declare: I’m outrageously expensive, aggressively impractical, and therefore absolutely essential.
Let’s be clear: Gucci isn’t presenting clothes anymore. Gucci presents states of being. Gowns that spill across the runway like Chianti on white linen. Suits with cuts sharper than a disgruntled fashion critic’s tweet. Accessories that scoff at utility and exist solely to be admired from a respectful distance—preferably behind a velvet rope.
And the shoes? Oh, the shoes. Monstrous, theatrical, absurdly elevated—clearly designed for gliding across velvet carpets or being carried, Cleopatra-style, to the Uber Black. They whisper of a bygone aristocracy with a futuristic hangover. Walking in them? Unadvised. Owning them? Essential for your spiritual evolution.
Hair and makeup? Somewhere between wax museum night shift and art school fever dream. Faces looked sculpted, but by someone with a master’s degree in postmodern discomfort. But then again, in the Gucciverse, normal is the one unforgivable aesthetic sin.
And the front row? A curated cocktail of aristocrats (real and self-invented), socialites from the metaverse, and that one guy in a velvet cape who may or may not be a fashion guru—or a delusional barista with good PR.
Gucci Cruise 2026 isn’t something you buy—it’s something you interpret. Or at least pretend to, while sipping Prosecco and pretending you’re not Googling “what is a plissé skirt.” This isn’t fashion—it’s theatre, philosophy, and performance art wrapped in taffeta and drenched in historical references. Don’t understand it? That’s fine. That just means it’s working. And if it’s too much? There’s always Zara, darling.
Photos courtesy of Gucci
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